No good in “Goodbye”.

being alone is hard. getting attached and saying “goodbye” is harder.

Alright. So I’m here hanging out in the waiting area with my runny nose and red, swollen eyes. I cried because I had to say goodbye to my closest cousins. My one cousin, ate Yla, promised me that she would accompany me and my fam to the airport. Well, she kind of changed through the years. The last year that I went home here, she was excited and very bubbly. But now, she colored her hair and gained a few pounds, but I still love her the same. Ah! Tears started to fall out of my eyes.

My other cousin, named Sarah, was second from ate Yla. She was there before we left their house and said goodbye properly. Though I can’t talk clearly because of the tears.

About 30 minutes before we left, the lump in my throat started getting thick. I was about to cry. I went to ate Yla’s bunk and stared at her. Many memories started flashing through me. That triggered the lump in my throat. I kept on remembering.

Even when we are on a tricycle going here, I sobbed. Not cry but SOB. I secretly wished that the tricycle won’t start so that we can stay longer. Though that may only happen when the stars align and grant my wish.

Now people are looking at me like I’m crazy. I just can’t. I’m a big ball of tears. I’m so emotional right now.

While watching Wonder Woman last night, I overheard ate Yla said something about me to ate Sarah. Though she said it in their language here, and though if I can understand, I didn’t hear her completely. But she said something about me being annoying or what.

Me and my forgiving self. Sometimes I scold myself about why I can’t stay mad at a loved one for so long. I guess you can’t stay mad at them because of some circumstances, like “you only go here for like every two years, make the most of it.”

Well, I guess that may only be what I can write for today. I still can’t recover from what happened.