They Both Die At The End Book Review
it’s true. it’s possible to change your whole world in a day.
the first time i read this book was last March. i bought it in a book sale and i got a good deal. i stored it in my shelf of books because at the time, i didn’t have much time to read it. but i did.
at first, i expected the protagonists to survive. Adam Silvera might’ve played with the title of the book and all, there’s a chance, which explains why…
on March 31, 2020, i cried.
i cried after finding out they indeed died at the end. all i felt was a deep ache in my chest and a need for water to quench my dry throat.
i’ve always read books all my life, but this is the only book that made me cry. i’m open for recommendations!
anyway, i’ll continue.
the power of friendship truly is remarkable. Mateo and Rufus both gained and lost something from each other, but most of all, they lived. Rufus dragged Mateo out from his bedroom and Mateo calmed Rufus. They did unexpected things together, and they didn’t regret any second of it.
and now, i read the book again. i still felt that familiar aching hole in my chest. the realization that i’m extremely lucky living in a world without Death-Cast hit me hard in the face. the urge to go outside and feeling the wind nags me. i never felt more alive after reading this book.
i felt a multitude of emotions, one of them being pride. i’m happy that Mateo took risks and went out of his bedroom, and i’m proud of Rufus for becoming the man he was before.
i’ve always hated death. i don’t want to die. i once wanted to, but i don’t think anyone really wants to. i hate that death has to clear out the old to make space for the new. i know i don’t have a say in any of it, though. it’s bound to happen. the end. the hated, unforeseen end. oh, and it happens unexpectedly, too. even in the book.
Mateo knew he will die the day the alert chimed. Rufus knew so, too. but Rufus didn’t wake up at 8:47 pm expecting Mateo to meet his fate. Rufus crossed the street without an arm to hold him back. Adam Silvera, in my own understanding (so far), cleverly made a point in the book that even though Death-Cast delivered, the exact moment and time is still unexpected. Death is still and will be unexpected.
to be honest, they were pretty lucky. that alternate world in the book gave Deckers a chance to bid a proper goodbye and for the sake of it, to live their day to the fullest (gee, thanks, Death-Cast.)
i wasn’t prepared for the ending, though. we do take time for granted. i’d like to share something Mateo said to Rufus that struck my heartstrings perfectly.
“People have their time stamps on how long you should know someone before earning the right to say it, but i wouldn’t lie to you no matter how little time we have. People waste time and wait for the right moment and we don’t have that luxury. if we had our entire lives ahead of us i bet you’d get tired of me telling you how much i love you because i’m positive that’s the path we were heading on. but because we’re about to die, i want to say it as many times as i want — I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.”
It may be a cliché, but I think we should try to live our lives, just as today might be our last. At the end of the day, none of us knows how much time we have left. It’s up to us to live in a way we’re proud of, happy with, and not wandering off, questioning what would’ve, could’ve, and should’ve been.
it’s both beautiful and crushing getting to know and being with Mateo and Rufus on their last day. two different people knowing each other and forming a friendship in less than a day is touching. They both deserve more than less than 24 hours on this Earth. They both deserve more than the time they were given.
“Maybe it’s better to have gotten it right and been happy for one day instead of living a lifetime of wrongs.” — Adam Silvera, They Both Die At The End
